


Performance Anxiety

by Madisuzy



Series: Turk Vincent arc [5]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: M/M, Sex, Swearing, Turk Vincent Valentine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-02
Updated: 2012-10-02
Packaged: 2017-11-15 11:25:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/526769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madisuzy/pseuds/Madisuzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vincent goes to collect his prize after winning a bet with Tseng.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Performance Anxiety

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kickcows](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickcows/gifts).



> AU because I’m mixing up the timeline, it's Turk Vincent and he's Tseng's second in command, which means no inner demons, funky outfit or long hair. Basically how he was before Hojo had his way with him. 
> 
> This story occurs the night after "Reno's Midgar Zolom" but can be read as a stand alone oneshot. The ages of characters are Tseng 29 and Vincent 24. 
> 
> A 'What happened next' story, requested by the lovely kickcows here on AO3. Thanks to Calvi_sama for corrections  
> ~~~

_"Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down." – Socrates_

~~~

Vincent felt sick. It was so stupid and childish of him, but he couldn't help but be nervous about tonight. Tseng and he had been having regular sex for over a year, and this should be just a natural progression of their relationship into something more meaningful.

Well, that's what he'd been trying to tell himself for the past three hours, anyway. He only wished that it had helped to calm his nerves.

At first he'd been excited, looking forward to finally getting the chance to turn the tables on Tseng. His lover was always so in control, commanding and strong, and while that had made the whole relationship work in the beginning, a year later it was starting to get old. Vincent wanted to move forward, and while he felt ready to put his past issues behind him for good, he couldn't just explain it to Tseng in words. Not talking about anything from _that_ time was an unspoken agreement between them, one Vincent didn't want to break, but how else could he explain what he wanted?

It was how Vincent had come up with the bet in the first place, to force the change and demolish that invisible wall between them. Now that he'd gotten his wish and the reality of the situation had sunk in though, he was as nervous as a virgin. It was more than a little mortifying and Vincent hadn't felt so unsure of himself in a long time.

What if he was no good? What if he was clumsy, came too soon or his lover just didn't enjoy it at all? Would Tseng ever give him another chance? All the pressure was giving him the worst case of performance anxiety that he'd ever experienced.

Growling low in his chest in frustration, Vincent checked his appearance in his bedroom mirror yet again. His eyes wandered to a nearby clock, finding that he had half an hour to get to Tseng's. It would only take him ten minutes tops, but he wanted to be early, just in case. He was immaculately clean and polished, every inch of his body and cloths prepared to perfection. The air conditioning in his apartment was on high to prevent him sweating in nervous anticipation and, as a result, it was so cold right now he was afraid his houseplants might all die of frostbite.

 _Honestly, it's abnormal to be so nervous about a date with a man you've been seeing for over a year, simply because you're changing sexual positions,_ he chastised himself, hands coming up to shakily readjust his tie for the hundredth time. _Shit, I have to get a grip now. Tseng can smell fear like a damn guardhound._

With yet another sigh, Vincent managed to pull himself away from the mirror and exit his apartment, switching off the air conditioning on the way. He ignored his too fast heartbeat as he locked his door and made his way to the elevator, putting his hands in his pockets to stop them fidgeting.

By the time he reached Tseng's door, he had managed to calm his nerves a little, using breathing techniques he'd learnt on the job. Squaring his shoulders, Vincent set his features to neutral and hoped he could at least appear confident as he knocked on the door.

Tseng opened the door a full minute later, just as Vincent was trying to decide if he should knock again. The older man's eyes swept over Vincent's form, coming to rest on his tie before one elegant eyebrow lifted.

"You're early," Tseng murmured, a smirk curling his lips as he leant against the open door and finally met Vincent's eyes. Tseng wore a grey silk shirt that was only buttoned up half way, enough skin showing to draw Vincent's gaze downwards. He then noticed the glass in his lover's hands containing what Vincent guessed was scotch and ice. Tseng casually swirled the liquid around before taking a sip, drawing Vincent's eyes back up with the movement.

"You said not to be late, but didn't say I couldn't be early," Vincent replied, relieved his voice came out even and calm.

"You have a point," Tseng conceded, taking another sip of his drink before he reached over to put it down on the side table next to the door. He looked back at Vincent, eyes on the younger Turk's tie once more as his smirk grew.

"What's so funny about my appearance?" Vincent asked bluntly, frowning as he grew annoyed with Tseng's amusement over his plain black tie. It made him feel as if he was being mocked, and with his nerves so on edge, his ire rose immediately.

"You've never worn a tie to my apartment before," Tseng responded, a hand coming up to grip the tie and twist, wrapping the material around his fist once. "I must admit... I am rather pleased by it."

Vincent's face twisted into a confused expression that soon turned to surprise as he was pulled forward by his tie, the door slamming shut behind him before he was pushed back against it. Tseng pinned him to the door with a kiss that he was hard pressed to follow, his legs weakening with desire as his mouth was plundered so passionately.

By the time Tseng released his lips, Vincent was breathing hard and was more than a little dazed. His lover always could make him mindless with just a kiss, disarming all his defenses so easily, and he found himself unable to complain when it felt so damn good. It took a minute for Vincent to realize that Tseng was looking at him strangely, the smirk gone from the other man's face.

"What's wrong?" Vincent asked, eyes widening in concern.

"You're not hard... at all," Tseng murmured, glancing down to where their bodies were still pressed together. Vincent's eyes looked down too as he suddenly realized that Tseng was right. As mentally aroused as he was by the kiss, his lower regions had not responded at all and he had no idea why. This had never happened to him before.

"I... fuck," Vincent mumbled, face heating up with shame. He'd been worried about not performing well enough to impress but he'd never even imagined he wouldn't be able to perform at all. Keeping his head tilted forward with his bangs giving him some cover, Vincent began to quietly panic internally. Tseng would take this as an insult and throw him out, surely....

"Hey," Tseng said softly as his hand gently cupped the side of Vincent's face. "I'm not mad. Concerned maybe, but not mad, so please don't react like that."

Vincent looked up, the gentle words and actions throwing him off balance even more as he gazed into his lover's tender expression.

"Do you really believe me to be so heartless?" Tseng added, eyes darting away from Vincent's and off to the side. "I know I can be... difficult sometimes, but surely you know that I...." His voice trailed off as a frown appeared on the older man's face.

"Surely I know what?" Vincent repeated, wanting desperately to hear the end of that sentence. Tseng never verbalised his feelings, and although he knew the other man did care for him, he'd never stated it out loud, even after so long together.

Tseng's eyes returned to gaze at Vincent, and the younger Turk stilled his lips, hoping that his question would be answered. Minutes ticked by silently and Vincent realized there would be no answer. He also realized that he may have just lost his one chance to make a shift in their relationship, simply because his nerves had rendered him impotent. Self loathing uncurled in his stomach and he looked away, the heat in his face returning.

"Maybe I should just go home," he whispered, leaning back on the door. "Before I embarrass myself any further."

"Please stay?" Tseng asked, not releasing his hold on his younger partner. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about. These things happen sometimes to us all and it's just a case of nerves, nothing more."

"You sound like one of those pamphlets from the Health Centre," Vincent retorted, his pride still smarting as he glanced back at Tseng. The expression of open affection he found on his lover's face left him a little stunned and he scrambled internally to hide his confusion. 

"Should I be worried that you've been visiting the Health Centre?" Tseng murmured, gaze turning mischievous as he began to grin. "Any test results I should be notified of?"

Vincent scowled, the insinuation making his frayed nerves turn to annoyance. "If I had caught anything, it would have had to have come from you," he grumbled, removing his arms from around Tseng and folding them across his chest.

"Just checking," Tseng replied, chuckling as his hands moved down to Vincent's hips. "There's no need to pout." Before Vincent could formulate a response, Tseng sunk down gracefully to his knees, looking up at Vincent as his grin widened.

"What are you doing?" Vincent asked, a little concerned about where this seemed to be heading.

"Kick starting your libido," Tseng replied, hands already at work undoing Vincent's pants. "Or maybe I should say, lick starting your libido."

Vincent rolled his eyes. "Your jokes are as bad as your cooking," he replied, chuckling a little, although his laugh sounded more like a nervous reaction than real humor. He was struggling with the fear that even with Tseng's direct help, his body might not rise to the occasion. He felt the cool air on his limp cock and sighed, trying to relax by pure will.

"You, of all people, should know my skills lie in a different direction to the kitchen," Tseng murmured softly. Vincent was about to make a retort when warm wetness surrounded his cock, taking his breath with it. His arms uncrossed from their position on his chest to press against the door behind him, stabilizing him a little as he concentrated on slowing his racing pulse. The warmth retreated when his body failed to respond and Vincent swallowed nervously. 

"You're still trying too hard," Tseng murmured, his hands gently caressing Vincent's thighs as he spoke. "I can feel how tense you are. Just close your eyes and breathe... leave the rest up to me for tonight."

Vincent didn't answer, but he closed his eyes and took a few breaths, trying to ignore how utterly stupid and unmanly he felt right now. Tseng's words led him to believe he wouldn't be topping tonight after all, and a part of him felt relief at that revelation. If his body's reaction tonight was any indication, he just wasn't ready to take that step with Tseng yet, and whether he liked it or not, he had a feeling he'd just have to swallow his pride once more and accept it.

Sighing, he felt himself begin to harden and smiled sardonically to himself. Things could be worse, after all. At least Tseng had seemed to be more intent on helping him out than throwing him out, and that was a sign that he really was more than just a regular fuck to his boss. His thoughts began to trail away as he just let himself feel, one hand moving to rest on Tseng's hair as he felt that wonderful tongue tease him into full hardness. Vincent groaned as Tseng suckled on the head of his cock, his tongue flicking over the slit and teasing it gently before he resumed sucking on the full length.

When Tseng suddenly stopped a few minutes later, Vincent couldn't hold back a disappointed groan. The sound had Tseng chuckling and just when Vincent looked down to ask why things had stopped, he felt two hands grab his shirt and pull downwards. He stumbled and, as his pants were around his ankles, failed to stop himself falling to his hands and knees. Tseng had slowed his fall though, so he hadn't hurt himself, but he still glared at the other man who only seemed to find more amusement in his expression.

"You can be such a bastard," Vincent grumbled, managing to get one leg free of his pants.

"And this is news to you?" Tseng asked sarcastically, grabbing Vincent again and pushing him onto his back. Vincent sat up to protest at the rough treatment, but Tseng kissed him quiet, maneuvering him back down while he was distracted. 

When Tseng finally broke the kiss and moved down to remove Vincent's pants, shoes and socks, Vincent just lay there in momentary defeat. He suddenly realized that this was the first time they'd be having sex in the entry hall... which was definitely something he should be taking note of. Tseng usually wasn't this impatient. Usually it was Vincent that was the impatient one with Tseng being thoroughly boring and making him wait until they were in the bedroom.

Now that Vincent thought about it, they had only had sex somewhere other than a bed on a handful of occasions over the whole year they'd been together, and every one of those times, it had been his own insistence that had pushed Tseng to consent. He was about to say something to point out Tseng's sudden enthusiasm, wanting to get some revenge for all the teasing he usually endured, when Tseng stood up and undressed completely. Vincent's snarky remark disappeared as his mind went blank, his cock twitching visibly in interest.

"Hmm, maybe I should have just answered the door naked and saved us all of that trouble to begin with," Tseng mused, eyes on Vincent's eager appendage.

"Can't say that I object to that possibility in the future," Vincent replied, trying to ignore his cock as it jerked up from his stomach, like an excited puppy looking to be petted.

Tseng chuckled before straddling Vincent's thighs and lowering himself down to sit.

"While the thought of answering the door naked is intriguing, I can't help but shudder at the possibility that it could be somebody other than you there," Tseng murmured, leaning up and over Vincent until he was face to face with the younger man, their cocks just touching. "I don't know how I would cope if it were someone like Scarlet."

Vincent's face screwed up in disgust. "Are you trying to horrify my cock into deflating?"

Tseng chuckled, pushing down his hips and making Vincent hiss in pleasure. "Goddess forbid," he whispered before capturing Vincent's lips once more.

When the kiss broke, Vincent found his shirt had been pushed up under his armpits by Tseng's wandering hands and he reached to undo his tie, aiming on removing both. Tseng's stopped him though and he looked up questioningly at his lover.

"Leave it on?" Tseng asked, smiling down at him and looking so beautiful perched there naked that Vincent simply nodded his assent. Tseng grabbed the tie again, holding on to it with one hand as his other began searching through the pockets of his discarded pants. Vincent guessed he was looking for lube and closed his eyes, making sure his body was relaxed. His earlier impotence had been bad enough and he had no intention of failing in any other way tonight.

He felt Tseng sit up on his knees but when he didn't move to begin preparing Vincent, the younger Turk opened his eyes to see what was up. Tseng's eyes were closed, one hand still gripping Vincent's tie, using it like an anchor for balance. It was the other hand Vincent was drawn to, though. It was out of sight behind Tseng and if looked as if the older man was preparing himself.

"Tseng?" Vincent whispered, trying to work out if his assumption was just wishful thinking. 

"Hmm?" Tseng hummed, eyes opening half way as he breathed in and out between slightly open lips.

"Are you... I mean... your hand...," Vincent mumbled out.

"Yes, my fingers are where you think they are, Vincent," Tseng replied with a chuckle, gazing down at Vincent with an amused expression. "You won the bet and I don't go back on my word."

"Oh," Vincent whispered, his heartbeat picking up speed. "But I thought...."

"See, that's where all your trouble tonight is coming from. Sex isn't about thinking, it's about feeling," Tseng murmured, pulling his fingers free and reaching down to stroke some lube over Vincent's cock.

Vincent forgot to be nervous. He could only watch silently as Tseng lined up his cock and slowly sunk down onto it, the tightness so overwhelming that his eyes closed, the pleasure almost unbearable. By the time Tseng started moving, Vincent was panting, eyes fixed on his lover. Tseng was the perfect mix of strength and slimness, with beautiful features that could still twist into a fearsome, lethal expression when needed. Vincent was still in awe of being able to touch him at all, and now this, being inside, being allowed to penetrate those unbreakable defenses.... Vincent's thoughts paused, realization suddenly hitting him. Was he really penetrating Tseng on any more than a physical level right now? Pushing his lust down as much as he could, Vincent intently studied his lover and realized that Tseng was as he always was, even in this. He moved at his own pace, neither fast nor slow, but a comfortable in between. He was completely confident and in control. His eyes were closed and he only touched Vincent's tie, their only body contact being where Tseng rode him. The expression on that perfect face was closed and showed nothing except the physical exertion of the act itself.

It was so disappointing when Vincent realized the truth. Tseng's mental walls were still up and in place, showing nothing more than the usual physical enjoyment of the act despite the earlier glimpses of affection. Vincent's temper flared, despite the arousal curling through him. He wanted more than this, wanted Tseng to open up to him on a whole new level, and if reversing their sexual positions wasn't going to do it, what would? Vincent sat up suddenly, stilling Tseng's hips with both hands.

"Vincent?" Tseng asked, a slither of doubt in his now open eyes as he rested his arms on the younger man's shoulders. "Is something wrong?"

"No," Vincent replied, giving a quick peck to Tseng's parted lips before thrusting up into his body. Tseng gasped at the sudden movement, his eyes going wide. Vincent's hopes rose at the reaction and he started a steady pace, his gaze locked on his lover's face so he didn't miss a moment. "Tell me... tell me how it feels?" Vincent began, trying to get his mind to work when he physically felt so overwhelmed by his lover's presence. "When you have to just sit there and take what I give, how does it feel?"

"What?" Tseng asked breathlessly, his hair falling over one eye as Vincent continued his thrusts, jolting the older man's body rhythmically.

"I want you to tell me how it feels... to have me inside of you, setting the pace. I want to know... do you twitch to take back control?" Vincent clarified between each drive upwards, smiling at the pinkness that suddenly appeared on Tseng's cheeks.

"It feels.... f-feels....," Tseng stuttered out, Vincent not helping at all as he changed the angle slightly, his thrusts finding his lover's prostate and stealing his breath for a moment. "Oh goddess," Tseng groaned, eyes closing as Vincent sped up and kept his aim true.

"Tseng?" Vincent insisted, breathless himself, but too taken by the sudden vulnerability Tseng was showing to let the question go.

Tseng opened his eyes and gazed at him, lips parting to say something, but his words disappeared in a low moan, Vincent having to bite his own lip to stop himself from making the same sound in response. His lover was grasping his shoulders hard now, their bodies pressed together and Vincent could feel Tseng's cock between them, dampening his stomach with pre-come.

"Fuck, you feel so good," Vincent panted, giving his lover's lips a few quick kisses. "I want to know... do you feel it too? Does it feel good.... to let me take control?"

"More than good," Tseng replied, eyes opening again to stare into Vincent's, something there Vincent had never seen before. "So hot... so hard... goddess, Vincent don't stop," Tseng added is a hiss, his eyes becoming desperate. The younger Turk couldn't pull his gaze away even if he wanted to, lost in the sudden vulnerability he was being gifted with, his own heart swelling with the wash of emotions that curled with his desire.

Tseng's body began to fight his hold, trying to move, but Vincent only strengthened his grip on his lover's hips. He kept Tseng still over his lap as he thrust upwards faster and faster, his own completion so very close. Tseng's lips found his own, the kiss messy and rough as a result of Vincent's movements, and ended with only their tongues touching in an obscene, open mouthed kiss.

Tseng's grip on Vincent's shoulders squeezed hard, a low keening sound escaping him as he climaxed, the sudden constriction around Vincent's cock pulling him into bliss as well. For a moment Vincent's world was pure pleasure, the warm body wrapped around him his only anchor against the swirling sensations.

When the pleasure finally ebbed away, he found himself wrapped in Tseng, both of them resting their heads on the other's shoulder. Tseng's body was trembling and Vincent began rubbing small circles on his back with one hand as they came down from the experience, Vincent's own body twitching as he drew in deep breath's and tried to slow his racing heart.

"Fuck," Tseng finally muttered, the word setting of a chuckle in Vincent's chest that he couldn't withhold. He was simply too happy right now.

"Fuck indeed," Vincent responded, laying gentle kisses to the shoulder his head rested on. The kisses slowly moved up Tseng's damp neck, the still fast pulse under the skin felt by Vincent's sensitive lips. His lover threaded the fingers of one hand through Vincent's hair, his head tilted to the side and neck bared in a casually trusting way. Vincent made a sound close to a purr as he nipped at the skin over Tseng's pulse point, his hips rotating slightly just to make Tseng gasp in his oversensitive state.

"If we're going to continue, I insist on a change of location," Tseng whispered. "My knees are killing me."

"Old man," Vincent murmured, earning himself a tug to his hair that only made him chuckle again.

"I knew you'd get like this afterwards," Tseng retorted, but there wasn't any heat to his words.

"Like what?" Vincent asked, mouth moving along to Tseng's ear, slowly tasting along the way.

"Smug... self satisfied," Tseng began, Vincent pausing at his words, an awkward silence falling over them. "I didn't see the affection though... or the happiness."

Vincent smiled, nipping the lobe of Tseng's ear and pulling a small objectionable sound from his lover. "I am very happy. You should have seen the affection though, as it's been there for quite some time."

Tseng's body tensed in his arms, but then there was the tickling feeling of small kisses on Vincent's neck, almost apologetic in nature.

"Just give me a little more time with this... please?" Tseng whispered in his ear and Vincent couldn't help but grin again. Vincent didn't need grand declarations of love, he just needed to know his pursuit of Tseng's heart was not in vain.

"We have all the time in the world, love," Vincent murmured softly, unable to resist the tease of the term of endearment. "Besides, I'm not going anywhere."

Tseng didn't reply, but suddenly wrapped his arms tighter around Vincent and hugged him hard. Vincent could only return the gesture mutely, touched by the sudden vulnerability of the beautiful man in his arms.

~ THE END ~


End file.
